Milkymilkymilkman

There was a time, in the ancient and glorious past, when the first thing a n00b would hear upon arriving at Indyfluencia was, "Watch out for Milkman." The second thing was also, "Watch out for Milkman." The third thing was Milkman demonstrating why you ought to watch out for him. Alas, those halcyon days have passed; the Milkman got a life (that being the e-equivalent of becoming a Scientologist in real life). We've hardly heard from the man since he started high school and got a girlfriend, but fortunately, his works are still with us. Here's an example of some classic Milkman for your pleasure and/or horror. "i think i can, i think i can."

Recently, I've taken up reading in public places.
See, this is important because this is how I met Megan.
Well, I had always had inhibitions about reading in public places. I always thought that there was too much going on for me to pay attention to one thing. One time I tried to read on the train but, you see, there was this baby crying. Now this was one of those fat red-headed babies, so not only was it horrible sounding, but you wanted to punch it. So after a few silent and unannounced staring contests with said baby, I gave up.
You won ginger baby. Happy? Are you happy? You prevented me from reading. You should be proud.
Another time, I tried to read at a coffee shop.
Now, you see, this sounds like something that would work! I mean, coffee shops, thats what they're for right? Other than surfing the internet on your laptop and making conversations with semi-cute girls, the coffee shop is meant for reading.
But, I must've came on a bad day.
There was this couple, young, pretty, probably in High School. To simplify this, I will demonstrate it in 13 easy steps:
1. Couple talking
2. Girl gets phone call
3. Girl gets baaaad news
4. Girl accuses guy of cheating on her
5. Guy denies it
6. Guy gets slapped
7. Guy gets angry
8. Couple argues a lot, and girl hits him more.
9. Guy gets really angry and hits girl
10. Someone calls police
11. Guy gets escorted into police car
12. Girl cries a lot
13. Girl leaves

This span over a two hour period, so I had no chance to read. At all.
Okay, now back to the present.
See, I had never been able to read in public places, so I tried again.
I decided to start out easy: The Library. Got through that. Alright. That was pretty easy.
So, I tried a little harder: Barnes and Noble. Halfway through, a man started playing harmonica. So, then I went across the store and progressed through Level 2.
Okay, now it's getting challenging: The Public Park. The children, why must the yell so loudly and so much. I got through it though. Wounded, yet still alive.

Now I'm getting through all of these very well, and I'm honestly proud of myself. I got a little skip in my step. But, I was anxious. Could I get through the next level? This is where is starts getting very, VERY hard.
The Train.

I stepped on the train. Coffee in one hand, The Virgin Suicides in another. I was going to DO THIS.
I had never been more serious in my life.
I was glad though, there were not many people in my train car. Maybe ten, at the most.
Cute girls, old ladies, middle-aged business men, and the rest.
I sat now. Nobody was within a five feet radius of me. I had found the perfect spot.
I opened the book. I sipped my coffee. I prepared for the beginning of the biggest accomplishment of my life.
"Hello, whats that you're reading?"
And I had failed. All the work I had put into this. The weeks of planning. The hours of training. It was all for nothing.
But, I wasn't angry.
I was feeling quite the opposite, actually.